Disgusting

I got a new vacuum cleaner last week. It was overdue.

We'd shopped around and I had surprisingly (for me) sold myself on an Oreck. Gosh, they're nice, aren't they? Crazy power and light enough to lift one-handed without breaking a sweat. That little old wrinkly man sure does know what he's doing, I'll tell you that.

Downside? The pricetag. Ouch. And then our garage door spring broke. And our air conditioning went out. And some part on the TV blew a fuse and had to be replaced. All in the same week. Double, triple, and quadruple ouch.

Bye-bye, Oreck money. Hello, Target vacuum aisle.

I checked out the reviews, and finally decided on a Bissell that everyone seemed to have awesome things to say about. It was in the price range I was planning to spend, and let's face it -- the only other choices out there are the Hummers of the vacuum world and the $30 joke that you're afraid will break after two uses.

So, hooray for making a decision! I was actually pretty excited to test it out. I've never had a bagless vacuum before, and I will say that this is the #1 quality I hate about it, but there really aren't many bagged upright vacuums on the market these days that don't cost an arm, a leg, and a kidney.


THIS is what I found after vacuuming one room. Seriously?!? What disgustingness we've been walking and playing on without even realizing it!

Even my husband, who shall thus forth be acknowledged as "Mr. Incredible" (per his new toy -- uh, phone), noted that the carpet seemed softer... "fluffy" almost. I won't say it's turned my beige carpet three shades whiter or made it look brand new again... but for eighty bucks? I'm happy.

Lesson learned

When you find yourself wanting an iced coffee and Dunkin' Donuts is closed, don't fool yourself into thinking you can settle for cheap Speedway gas station iced coffee. It is truly terrible. And it's not any cheaper than McDonald's... and there's certainly always one of those nearby.

That sludge was $1.93 wasted.

Warning

Today I decided to clean the top of the fridge. Why? I'm not really sure. No one sees it ever. It's not like someone is going to walk into my house and say "My, what a clean refrigerator top you have there." But it's one of those things that, when the mood strikes you, why not?

I've been trying to use less chemically-based cleaners and more natural, everyday ingredients for household cleaning. But my vinegar and water (the "all purpose" cleaner) wasn't cutting through the grime that somehow lands on refrigerator tops.

I remembered I had bought these some time ago:

I had never tried them on anything, but figured this was the perfect opportunity. And it really turned out to be. Just dampen the scrubby pad, work it around a bit in your hand, and it starts to foam. One side is like a scouring pad and the other is like a cloth. Works great, especially for removing sticky kitchen grime.

But, I noticed this warning on the side, listed after all the usual warnings of not using it on marble or aluminum, and testing it first in a small area:

NOT FOR CLEANING SKIN. DO NOT USE AS A BABY WIPE OR FOR PERSONAL CLEANING.

Was this really a concern? Was there really some person out there who ran out of shower gel and thought this was a good replacement? Are there really parents out there who think "You know what would get this poop of my child's legs (and crib, and bedding, and pajamas...) in the quickest and least painful way? A Soft Scrub Scrubby Pad, of course!"

So... using Scrubby Pads for splattered kitchen grease? Good idea. But, ladies, the next time your special time of the month rolls around, please do refrain from using these to help yourself feel fresh and clean. Just in case the warning was needed.

What other funny warning labels have you seen?